Yesterday, I did a cute little poll of some common questions I thought you all might have about me and about how I started this roller coaster. I needed a little help with the structure of a small little presentation I needed to give to my business meeting. It was eye-opening so I figured I’d put it all together into one blog post.
So here we go.
To start off, this isn’t going to be dry run of a bunch of fun facts about me. That’s what my about me page is for and that’s what texting is for. No, this will be an overview of what, why, how and who I do this with. If this sounds boring to you, then click that logo and get the heck outta here.
How I Started Taking Photographs
Maddie’s adventure feet. Taken on my dad’s camera back in 2011. One of my first photos other than a sunset.
We begin with a little 13 year old Mary. My dad wouldn’t identify himself as a “photographer” but he always had a camera with him when we went somewhere new. Every cool hike, camping trip, vacation (they were seldom but always had a camera along). My first memory of taking a photograph was around this age. Smart phones weren’t a thing - flip phones/cell phones in general had just begun to infiltrate themselves and I was nowhere near getting one - so I am fortunate to be able to remember my first photographs. And man were they rough. My subject consisted of three things - my yard, my dog, and sunsets - oh and I guess a pair of old converse laying on the garage floor. The images were drenched in sepia and black and white filters and plenty of saturation to reeeeally bring out those sunset colors. But back then, I was mesmerized. The thought of being able freeze time and look at it later was incredible to me.
Being a naturally nostalgic person, home movies and my parents’ photo albums were how I narrated life. They were how I remembered when I couldn’t quite conjure up my own brain picture. By the time I was in high school, my siblings were out of the house and I was left to my own devices for entertainment. Along with filming myself cleaning my room with an old school video camera (which to this day, may be one of my most hilariously embarrassing moments) and borrowing my dad’s camera, I started to document the world around me.
One year for my birthday, I received my very own Canon DSLR and would proceed to use that body and kit lens for the next 8-9 years. The photographs started wavering toward portraiture, my friends mostly, and I fell in love with them (the photos, not my friends 😉). I taught myself how to use the camera outside of automatic settings, taught myself ISO, exposure and manual focus.
Once I was a college girl, I thought about becoming a photo major, but the structure and assignments turned me off. I didn’t want to relearn what I already knew. Thinking back, I obviously could’ve learned much more - especially about film, but I still think it was the right decision. I realized that I had a real eye and a real talent for this hobby of mine and started charging for my sessions. I stayed close to home, doing family sessions of friends and seniors. Fast forward to post-graduation, and I studied up on how to run this as if it were a business. I was gifted my current 80D body, and purchased some more lenses. I invested in Lightroom and Photoshop and began charging more professional prices for my photographs and sessions. From this moment on, I was hooked. I knew this would be more than a hobby, more than something I merely enjoyed. It consumed me.
June 27th, 2019, Columbia Falls, MT.
My Inspirations
Long story short, I am inspired everyday by everything around me. Long story long, how I see is as if I was behind the camera already. 99% of the time, I’m imagining how my surroundings would look as a photograph. People like Annie Leibovitz and Steve McCurry, magazines like LIFE, Rolling Stone, Wall Street Journal, Instagrammers like Humans of New York, Zoë, Theo Gosselin and Chuck. All of these artists and countless others fuel my addiction to constantly improve and imagine something new. That addiction to create a newer and better photograph that will be remembered is why I keep going, why I am on this crazy train until I get kicked off. That and the experience of photographing. There is something so incredibly and intangibly special about being the one to freeze time. Being the one in charge of capturing a person in this moment exactly how they are and never will be again. That feeling, I tell you, it’s a high that I never want to come down from. Now, given not all sessions are like this, sometimes they are less than what I expect them or hope for them to be, but even still, I am proud of the work I am creating.
Marion at the FOX, September, 2019.
Clients have a way of moving you as well. Outside of other photographers, it’s important to observe the people around you, your subjects, your family, your friends. They truly help you improve and give you feedback to propel you further. Strangers, even, have the odd way of inspiring you without even having to say one work to them. Next time you’re out and about, try to really notice the strangers you pass on the street, maybe snap a couple of photos as you go. What do you notice? Can you feel their emotions? Do you think they’re busy or sad or excited or bored or noticing you back? Those little moments have a lot of power.
Accidents are also along these lines. When you really are in the groove and have a photograph in mind, then you look back and your roll and see something that was clearly an accident but turned out pretty sweet. Maybe something was out of focus on accident, maybe someone walked in front of the frame, maybe someone sneezed. Sometimes the best photos we take are the ones we least plan.
Gwen, at the Babs, November, 2019.
I could talk about boudoir for pages and pages but what I’ll say is this: photographing a boudoir session is an experience unlike any other. Meeting my clients, getting to know them in a manner of minutes, they always arrive nervous. Every woman gives me the same spiel, “I’m awkward in front of the camera” or “Don’t get my double chin” or “I don’t know how to hide my belly” or “Can you edit out this weird scar?” or any other assortment of nervous chatter. That’s all it is, ladies. Nervous chatter. Nonsense. And my response is always the same. I tell the subject the truth, that no, I won’t edit that out, no I won’t cover your belly, I will photograph your double chin because guess what - you only make that double chin when you laugh the hardest. Your scar is part of you, part of your story. Your belly held life for 9 whole months and then delivered a beautiful new being into this world. Your body is a miracle. Exactly how it is. You’d think I’d be annoyed by these women constantly giving me the same nervous chatter. And I have to admit, sometimes, it is clear the client is searching for a different kind of boudoir shoot. One where they dress head to toe in lingerie, one where they are retouched and made skinnier, ones that are for their partners, or for someone else. But that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here for YOU. Once I’m done explaining this to her, and over the next 90 minutes unfold, I am so lucky as to witness a transition like no other. One where she tells me “Wow, I can’t believe that’s me!” or “You’re right, why am I so insecure? Damn!” or “I have never felt so beautiful and empowered”. These are all real life responses I get. And that, my friends, is priceless.
Moving Forward
As I begin this journey into being full time, it has never been more clear to me that I am on my own. While it is absolutely liberating to work for yourself and not have to leave the comfort of my home to go to “work”, the thought of being 110% responsible for my success, my money earning, my future, is deafening. Details that were just icing on the cake before are now totally required or super duper encouraged. I no longer have my full-time 9-5 job benefits or a steady income. Budgeting is of the utmost importance. I need people outside of instagram to be able to find me, find my website. Word of mouth is huge.
On top of all this is my hunger to create a lasting imprint. I want to create something special. Something memorable and long-term. I don’t just want to take beautiful photos of your wedding, but I want to make people think, I want people to have my photo books on their coffee tables. I want to travel, write stories, capture the world how I see it and use that to change perspectives.
All this is to say, I’m in it. I’m deep in this shit. I have never felt more creative, inspired, or well, IN IT, than I do right now. In the near future, I hope to travel, to write more stories, to take the photos I want to be taking. I am ready to step outside of my box and to create photographs that, whether you’re my client or not, you remember and love.